You're The Scum Between My Toes: A Love Story

         So it's Valentine's Day tomorrow, and what do you know, there's a girl. The strange thing is, it all began as a joke. The two of us had hung out before, but nothing had happened until one particularly crazy night at a pub. Yup, the girl is Kelli, who you might remember from the previous story. Since that night, we've been together a lot more, sightseeing and chatting and “studying.” One time, she even wrote me a love letter. I don't think she'll mind if I post it, so here it is:

         

          Dear Noah,

         

         I hate your stinking guts. You make me want to vomit. You're the scum between my toes.

          

         ♥ Kelli

          She's pretty great, don't you think?

          Of course, now that we're something, I've been looking back even further than the night at the pub, trying to figure out exactly how it happened. I decided I might as well start with the first time we met. I actually remember it well, which is probably because of what she said. It must've been the second or third day we'd been here. We were standing in a group of about six people, going around and introducing ourselves. The time came for my introduction, so I said, “Hey, I'm Noah.” Kelli looked at me and responded by saying, “Noah? I've heard about you.” I'll be honest, I don't think I've ever gotten that reaction before. My reputation doesn't usually precede me. And the way she said it, like I was infamous or something. I was a little bit confused and a little bit intrigued. I wondered if she was interested in me. Yes, my thoughts went there in about five seconds. I'm a guy, what can I do? Anyway, I figured sooner or later, everything would become clear. It turned out to be sooner.

Awwwwwwwww!

         And now we're here. How would I describe us? We're just like any other couple. I will say that we have some especially fantastic conversations. We talk about things like vomit and poop and lactose intolerance. It's wonderful, really. Sometimes we even talk about more serious issues like...umm...you know, just take my word for it.

         I've learned all about her in only a few days, too. Her family situation is pretty similar to mine- divorced and remarried parents, and lots of siblings. She goes to college in Michigan and is graduating this year. She's going to Wisconsin for grad school. I take this to mean that she's ambitious and will probably have a job once she's done with school. Perfect. I've already begun to plan out my next twenty years as a stay-at-home dad. There's no shame in that- I've been looking for a sugar momma all my life. I didn't think I'd have to travel all the way to Europe to find one, but hey, I'm not complaining.

         While we're in Europe, we'll be visiting a bunch of different cities together. But it's not going to be just us. We're part of a group of seven friends who mostly stick together and go out and plan travels. If we break up, at least I'll have other people to hang out with while I'm in Germany or Greece or France. Obviously, I'd rather that didn't happen, though. I mean, we've already kind of planned our wedding. It'll be in Paris, the city of love. I think we're shooting for late March, sometime around the 20^th. Of course, everyone is invited!

         I wouldn't want to get too far ahead of myself, though. I've only been here for a couple of weeks. We've still got a long way to go- it's not even Valentine's Day yet. Will we be doing anything special in light of the holiday? I'm not really sure. I've been busy here just trying to get everything in order, not to mention, classes start tomorrow. But I know I should probably think of something. We'll see. Maybe this post is a start. I never did get to respond to that love letter she wrote me. I think this counts, though. So I'm dedicating this to my charming little friend. Go shit a brick.

      

         ♥ Noah