Barney Stinson and Beer Halls

          I was in Munich this weekend, and there were a lot of “firsts” for me. First time in Germany, first time going to an Olympic Park (it was cool), first time in a beer hall, and maybe most importantly, first time in a hostel. If you've never been to a hostel, I don't recommend the experience at all. Sleeping in a small room with six or eight other people and sharing a bathroom and miniature shower sounds fun in theory...who am I kidding?- it sounds awful. I will say it's cheap, but definitely not my favorite way to travel. Oh well. The point isn't to stay inside a little room while you're in a foreign city, anyway. But were there any benefits to staying in a hostel besides cost? I guess you could say so. We did meet an interesting person or two.

          After a day spent all around Munich, we came back to the hotel and took a short nap. When we woke up, voila, there was a young German man in lederhosen standing right in front of us.

          “Allo,” he said. He had a goofy grin on his face.

          “Hey,” we said back.

          “What doing in Munchen where from,” he said.

          One of my friends and I looked at each other, obviously confused. Most of the Germans we'd encountered spoke pretty clear English, especially compared to all the “Czechlish” we've been hearing for the past couple weeks. But this guy was borderline impossible to understand. We didn't know what to say, so we didn't say anything. Finally, he reached out his hand. 

          “Andy,” he said. That was easier. We introduced ourselves and he started to slow down a little bit. He was from Germany, but apparently his plans fell through with a friend, so he had to stay in a hostel. He quickly asked, “Girls in room?” to which we said we didn't think so. “No good!” he said. “Need the girls. Girls like how may mother.” Again, we had no idea. He kept trying. “I'm Barney Stisson. I learned all the moves. You know, how may mother,” he said. Something clicked and I realized he was talking about the TV show, “How I Met Your Mother.” I busted up laughing. His skills with the ladies were based off of an American sitcom character who also happens to be gay. I bet Andy had a lot of success with his “moves.”

         We talked for a while longer, and Andy told us what he'd been doing all day: “Brauhaus since 10.” A brauhaus is a beer hall. And 10 as in 10 A.M. It was now past 7 P.M. That explained the poor English and slurred words. Andy was drunk. However, he was also a pretty nice guy. He invited us to go to another beer hall with him and “Spanish girls.” Who better than a German to show us around Germany? So we went.

          We left the hostel and actually met up with three girls from Spain. Maybe Andy had learned a thing or two from How I Met Your Mother. We hopped on a tram and headed in the direction of a beer hall across town. And of course, the first thing we see when we get on the tram is a group of thirty belligerently drunk, cross-dressing males. I think trouble just seems to find us.

Oh hey there!

"So...you doin' anything later?"

          I couldn't tell if Andy knew them, but he made friends with them in seconds. They were all laughing and shouting and posing for other passengers on the tram. They also had a giant case of beer with them, and they each seemed to have a bottle in hand, as well. It was one of the more interesting tram rides I've been on in Europe.

          Once we got off the tram, it was a short walk to the beer hall. Naturally, our cross-dressing friends got off right along with us. The short walk to the beer hall wasn't a speedy one, as the cross-dressers took the opportunity to proposition the drivers of pretty much every car that passed by. I wish I could erase the image of these guys on the street corner, hiking up there skirts and waving at drivers. But unfortunately I think it's seared into my brain.

Strutting their stuff

          We walked into the beer hall in a giant group. A beer hall is kind of like a tavern/cafeteria that seats hundreds, where everyone eats sausage by the kilogram and drinks beer by the liter. Needless to say, it's usually a wild place to begin with. Our entrance was greeted with yells and whistles and laughter. At least they were happy to see us.

Beer Hall

          We ended up separating from our German friends, as well as Andy, so we could find a place to sit and enjoy ourselves. We ordered food and drinks, and for once, it was really good. (Aside: German food is the worst cuisine I've ever experienced. Case in point: this "meatloaf."  I almost puked before I ate it.)

Bon Appetit!  

          A couple of the guys got pork knuckle, which I wish I had ordered, even though my food was nice. The pork knuckle was truly delicious. Next time, I know what to get. Anyway, we stayed there for a while, drinking and eating. We sat by a group of Germans, who I guess took a liking to us. We didn't say much to them, but they bought us a couple rounds of pear shots. I like Germans.

          We spent a few hours there, and then we figured it was time to get going out. We thanked the Germans for the alcohol and made our way to the exit. As we walked to the door, we saw a handful of our cross-dressing acquaintances, mostly with their heads down on tables, passed out. I wasn't surprised. After a busy day in Munich, we decided to go back to the hostel and get a little sleep, too.